feathers&fables


this isn’t a tax issue is it?
March 17, 2010, 12:36 am
Filed under: dear diary, hit me on the cantina, iloveyoumorethanblackcock

I have this recurring dream where I’m on a yacht with Snoop Dogg and last night a new chapter of the dream unfolded where a friend of mine was Henry Sherman (played by Danny Glover in the Wes Anderson film, The Royal Tenenbaums) and came on board the yacht to help Snoop with his finances. The ‘Dogg” and the “Grizzly Bear” proceeded to “talk some jive” (i love the dialogue between Royal and Henry in the film) and then we had a threesome. Tripped out whackness. I also just found out that Alec Baldwin is the narrator in this film. So now you know. xx

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happy birthday jas
February 26, 2010, 2:05 am
Filed under: iloveyoumorethanblackcock, loving the shit out of it, wild things

i’m thinking a mcdonald’s birthday. with those paper hats they give you. and ice cream cake. but you’re in copenhagen so i guess it’s a mcdesigner birthday. with fancier hats, probably designed by zara or some shit. xx



hands up if you miss beth
February 16, 2010, 3:06 am
Filed under: iloveyoumorethanblackcock, the beginning and the end



i love you more than anal beads

in honour of valentine’s day this sunday, let me share some romantic gift ideas. they just might be what it takes to get the va-jay-jay’s wet and the doddles erect….

1. BoyzIIMen 20th Anniversary Cruise: throw your clothes on the floor cos they’re gonna take their clothes off too. if you’re planning to propose valentine’s day in 2011, BoyzIIMen will get you a yes for sure. Heck, they’ll probably even play at your wedding.

2. Red Heart Cufflinks: worried that your partner might be mega-GAY? test it out with these. and if he sincerely likes them- RUN.

3. Always Kiss Me Goodnight Pillow Cases: veronica will fall in love with aaron all over again with this unique, personalised, thoughtful and romantic gift! or she’ll call off the engagement because let’s face it- who wants to be married to a schmuck lame-o named aaron anyway?

4. Valentines Poem: if you’re not good with the rhymes and metaphors, then just google it and your very own, very personal, very non-production line poem will lay before your very eyes. joanna fuchs is really making a name for herself with romantic, tender, feel-good poetry.

5. Stuffed animals: everybody’s favourite Valentines gift. guaranteed to put a smile on that special persons dial. also guaranteed to be thrown at you in a fight and decapitated when you’re caught cheating. cheater!

xx



empire state of mind
February 4, 2010, 10:13 pm
Filed under: b&w, dear diary, iloveyoumorethanblackcock

i want to be in nyc with redhead, sitting on the top step of the met, singing that alicia keys/jay-z song, generally ripping it apart. twenty four days of employment left. new york. concrete jungle where dreams are made. xx



i spy with my little eye, something to get me through tuesday
February 1, 2010, 9:55 pm
Filed under: iloveyoumorethanblackcock, snap happy



resignation

i have to write my resignation letter today and it’s a little daunting. not only does it signal the end, i’m also wary of it sounding too impersonal, too personal, too drab. short and sweet is how they like it and the plethora of paperwork to come once said resignation is registered can only equal doom.people are suckers for ticking boxes.apparently i have to hand in my keys.i lost them about two weeks into the job.it’s no secret that i suck at life and will undoubtedly suck at writing my letter of resignation and filling out post-resignation paperwork.xx

um… black doctor…