feathers&fables


back to hell
April 4, 2010, 10:37 am
Filed under: dear diary, the beginning and the end

i have left my blissful existence in melbourne and traded it for three weeks in the damned wasteland of my childhood otherwise known as albury. i have only myself to blame for this after deciding it would be a good idea to spend a bit of time with my family before embarking on my save the world crusade. i arrived in the border town on saturday afternoon at precisely 4.13pm. i was picked up by my sister and whisked back to her house where a group of her friends were drinking in the lounge room and talking some shit about someone i don’t know. this will be my home for the next three weeks. allow me to describe: my sister lives in a run-down weatherboard house that belongs to my mother and her husband and is across the road from where they live with my three brothers. the previous owner was an old lady called lil who had lived there since the 1920’s. lil had a little dog that she, wearing a floral apron and weird old lady shoes, would walk up and down the street chatting to whoever she found along the way. unfortunately lil developed severe dementia in her final years in the house and the house was ill maintained. the tiles on the roof are falling, there is no oven, and a slight stench permeates from the leaking water pipes. if not for my darling sister living there i would probably just take the liberty of torching the place. it’s getting knocked down soon and a new house for my family will be built in its place.

so after dumping my bags i decided to walk across the road to my mother’s so that i could say hi to my brothers and use their internet. i went to get my brand new apple macbook pro (it sounds so good when you say the whole thing) and felt a sudden pang somewhere between my stomach and my heart. i had left my laptop on the bus. hyperventilation and tears followed while my sister grabbed her car keys and ushered me into the car. we drove back to the railway station but sure enough the bus had already departed. shit. fucking shit. i’m hysterical by this stage. we drive back to mum’s and i get on the phone calling every possible person (some appropriate, some not so appropriate) in order to track down my laptop. would it still be there? did the junkie anorexic sitting behind me in ugg boots swearing loudly on her phone see it there? shit. fucking shit. after leaving my number with a guy named rob (job title: Bus Coordinator) i finally received a call back saying that my laptop had indeed been found. halle-fucking-lujah. and so i still have my brand new apple macbook pro.

and so with my laptop safe and sound i decided to get drunk.

it’s now monday and i’m ready to get on with it, i can complain all i want about being here but need to remember the benefits- i get to hang out with my three brothers who are just the most insane, funny little creatures. i also get to attend the wednesday night dinners that are held at my grandparents place- home cooked meals and vegetables here i come. i get access to nan’s sewing room and  i don’t have to pay rent or bills- plus plus plus.

THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED UPON MY RECEIVING UPDATED INFORMATION AS TO THE EXACT ORIGIN OF THE SMELL IN THE HOUSE. THANK YOU.

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