feathers&fables


i love you more than anal beads

in honour of valentine’s day this sunday, let me share some romantic gift ideas. they just might be what it takes to get the va-jay-jay’s wet and the doddles erect….

1. BoyzIIMen 20th Anniversary Cruise: throw your clothes on the floor cos they’re gonna take their clothes off too. if you’re planning to propose valentine’s day in 2011, BoyzIIMen will get you a yes for sure. Heck, they’ll probably even play at your wedding.

2. Red Heart Cufflinks: worried that your partner might be mega-GAY? test it out with these. and if he sincerely likes them- RUN.

3. Always Kiss Me Goodnight Pillow Cases: veronica will fall in love with aaron all over again with this unique, personalised, thoughtful and romantic gift! or she’ll call off the engagement because let’s face it- who wants to be married to a schmuck lame-o named aaron anyway?

4. Valentines Poem: if you’re not good with the rhymes and metaphors, then just google it and your very own, very personal, very non-production line poem will lay before your very eyes. joanna fuchs is really making a name for herself with romantic, tender, feel-good poetry.

5. Stuffed animals: everybody’s favourite Valentines gift. guaranteed to put a smile on that special persons dial. also guaranteed to be thrown at you in a fight and decapitated when you’re caught cheating. cheater!

xx

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