feathers&fables


party secretary to the suck at life club
January 6, 2010, 2:43 am
Filed under: getting on with it, loving the shit out of it

i’ll tell you my whole life story one day, but not on the interwebz because one day you’re going to buy my published memoirs and make me a squillionaire. once that happens, i’ll probably forget all about you. in the meantime, here’s some interesting facts;

I like to wear black sacks and round sunglasses. • I live with a redhead and a triad, both of whom I love more than anal beads. • My alter ego is named Weekend Cass. She often says inappropriate things and means them. • When I was growing up, my mother worked as a clown and once tried to make me a Jehovah’s Witness. (it’s also her birthday today- i’m not going to say happy birthday because Jehovah’s Witnesses aren’t allowed to have birthdays. They won’t even let Jesus have a birthday. Um, moving on.) • This will probably get me jail time but I once started a potential bushfire. • I remember the lyrics to almost every song and am anxiously waiting for Don’t Forget the Lyrics to come to Australia. It’s either that or find a karaoke competition with prize money.Despite what my resume says- I do NOT pay attention to detail. • I have seven siblings. • My power animal is a peacock. • I fell off a roof and had to have stitches in my bum-bum resulting in a nasty case of golden staph. I obviously learnt nothing from this experience because I fell off another roof only one year later • I do not have a five year plan and plan to keep it that way for about the next five years. • I have jungle fever. • I like knowing how Brad and Ange are doing with the kids. • I accidentally got into a yellow car that wasn’t a cab and would have got a free ride only we had different ideas about how people pay for a lift home. • I am probably always having more fun than you. • I believe that men and women can be JUST friends, although I’m currently struggling with which one of my friends I have the most inappropriate feelings for. • My nicknames include Rizzo and Fried Milky Cabbage. • My favourite work colleague is the vagina suit with matching blood pump. • I like birds and grass and shit • I feel obliged yet rarely fulfil my obligations. • I have awesome self esteem and am prone to rants of self indulgence.

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